Slime
by dantesdarkqueen
Summary: Salvanas should learn to fear the quiet ones...


**Summary: **Salvanas should learn to fear the quiet ones...

**Disclaimer: **Syldanae mine, Baldur's Gate 2 not. Really, why on earth would I want Salvanas? He's slimey!

**Queen's Quornor: **I had another oneshot written, but I think Xan thought it was too racy or something, because it has vanished from the notebook in which it was kept. Maybe he just didn't appreciate the thought of Minsc and Boo interrupting him? I'm not sure. However, seeing as how that oneshot is apparently not going to show up anytime soon (glares at Xan, who studiously ignores her), this might serve. I kept waiting for the male romantic interests to do something whenever Salvanas hit on their women, but to no avail. I mean, if you saw some sleezeball hanging all over your significant other, wouldn't you at least say something?

Slime

"Syldanae?"

The elf-woman jumped slightly and turned her head to see Jaheira frowning over her shoulder, her fingers tapping restlessly against the side of her mug. "Yes, Jaheira?"

The druid's scowl deepened, and she cleared her throat. "Your tenacious suitor approaches. Are you going to turn him away this time or shall I?"

"I'll take care of it." Syldanae sighed and looked to her lover apologetically. Xan waved her off and sipped at his wine with a carefully blank face, looking studiously at the table. She wanted to reassure him, but wasn't sure that he would listen to her now. This particular suitor was too thick-headed to take subtle hints such as an arm slung about her waist or the holding of hands, and Xan had ceased trying to display his claim on her whenever they entered the Copper Coronet. After all, he had said, what was the point?

She wanted absolutely nothing to do with the approaching man, considering that she was already married, in a way. And Xan always became so gloomy after each embarrassing display, dampening Syldanae's usually-bright mood as well. She had tried to turn the stubborn elf away, and her friends had done the same, but he still trailed after her whenever they stayed here, spouting off the worst lines she had ever heard and generally humiliating her with his attempts at enticing her into his bed. There had been several times when she and her lover had been feeling romantic and looking forward to being alone for once, only to have the mood utterly spoiled by this idiot.

"My goddess has returned! Oh, how you bless me with your unearthly beauty! This effect you have on me could not possibly be of this world."

She gritted her teeth and pasted a kind of smile onto her face, turning to face him before he could touch her. "Hello, Salvanas."

"Your lovely voice inflames my deprived senses!" Further down the table, Edwin snorted and muttered something about him being depraved before burying his nose in his precious scroll. Jaheira made an impatient noise and joined Aerie and Haer'Dalis at the other table. Xan said nothing. Of all her friends and companions, he was the only one who had never verbally confronted Salvanas about his behavior. "Speak again, my sweet angel. Sing to me of your desire and passion!"

Syldanae's fingers found the hilt of the sword on her right hip, and she entertained the notion of drawing both blades and liberating all women from the sugary-sweet attentions of this lecherous redhead. So few girls accepted his advances, surely he would not miss a few things... She shook the thought off and gave him a stony stare.

"No, you won't have that from me. Sorry, but I have better things to do than roll around in a flea-ridden bed with you." Her eyes flicked to the enchanter at her side, but as usual the silent statement was missed or ignored.

Salvanas flashed her a lascivious grin, his bright blue eyes twinkling as they raked over her body and lingered on the small amount of cleavage displayed by the vee in her shirt. "Fear not, my goddess. 'Tis not the fleas that shall be ridden, but the most lovely female mine eyes have ever chanced upon."

Xan's fingers tightened on his goblet's stem, and Syldanae glanced at him curiously. He never truly lost his temper, but now her lover seemed as close to completely losing it as she had ever seen him. She had to admit that she would not stop him if he did. Salvanas had long since squandered what little amount of patience she was willing to waste on him.

"Sorry, but the last person I'd let into my bed is you," she told him flatly, noting his forlorn expression with malicious pleasure. "I prefer a man who knows when to keep his mouth shut, which you clearly do not." Her violet eyes softened as they drifted to her long-suffering mate, but Salvanas was as oblivious as ever.

"There is much more to occupy my mouth than words, my goddess," he crooned silkily, flicking his tongue at her in what she presumed was meant to be an inviting and sexy manner. "I have left many a maiden screaming her pleasure without saying a word."

Edwin snorted again, and Syldanae wondered if he was about to interject a few statements about Thayvian oral pleasures again, but he merely continued his attempt at reading his scroll. "Honestly, Salvanas? There's more to it than theatrics. Those maidens may have been exaggerating in order to finish what must have been a truly odious encounter as quickly as possible," she said with a shrug. "How many times do I have to tell you? I'm not interested. Find some other woman."

Salvanas looked stricken, and Syldanae was reminded of a former companion of hers, Coran, who had spent much of his time chasing after her affections as well. That had been before he realized how deeply she cared for Xan, and he had been enough of a sport to concede victory to her lover before turning his attention to Imoen. He, too, had been fond of flowery phrases and 'subtle' reminders of his supposedly-legendary sexual prowess.

But at least, she thought irritably, Coran had been tasteful in his boasts and unnecessary flattery. Salvanas was nothing short of crude.

Unfortunately, Salvanas shared Coran's habit of rebounding from a snub with extraordinary speed. He sidled closer to her, leaning in to whisper in her ear. Syldanae rolled her eyes and threw a pleading look at her lover, seeing the glitter of his dark iris at the corner of his eye, carefully watching them. The look wasn't enough; Xan continued to sit quietly, though he did not stop his observation.

Salvanas brushed some hair away from her ear, and by either accident or design his fingers lightly brushed the point of her ear, forcing her into an involuntary shiver. He smiled and leaned in closer, whispering some Elvish phrase to her. She only spoke a little of that language but, knowing Salvanas, it was not difficult to imagine the basic gist of the lyrical words.

To her surprise, Salvanas was suddenly yanked away from her and she blinked, seeing her lover with his fist knotted in the front of the stunned redhead's tunic so that he was forced to stoop, holding her antagonizer's wide blue eyes with his own dark ones. Syldanae noted with pleased satisfaction that those eyes were absolutely furious, though little emotion was visible on his smooth face.

More Elvish followed, all of it spoken in low, even tones. Salvanas never said a word, but stared at Xan with an expression of mingled terror and chagrin. Syldanae only caught a few of the words, but surmised that her lover was explaining to the idiotic fop the nature of his relationship to her and _exactly _what he thought of these ridiculous attempts at getting her attention. She grinned and sat back in her chair, sipping her wine as she listened to the lecture. Warrior that she was, it was still nice to see her magically-inclined mate defending her for a change, instead of the other way around.

At last Xan released the other elf's tunic, and stared coldly at him while Salvanas muttered hasty apologies and claims that he had no idea she was already bonded. Syldanae rolled her eyes and waved her hand, wanting him as far away from her as possible. As soon as he was gone, she reached out and took Xan's hand.

"I don't know what you told him, but you have my eternal thanks," she murmured, scooting her chair closer to his. "The Copper Coronet is my favorite of the inns in Athkatla, despite his being here all the time."

"He does have a small amount of discretion left in him, thank the Seldarine. He will not come between a bonded pair such as ourselves, no matter how beautiful and desirable the woman may be." A satisfied smile spread his lips as his eyes gravitated to the same place Salvanas' had before. "Your beauty may haunt him forevermore, but he now knows that I am the only one allowed to experience it in full measure."

"You know I wouldn't have any other, and certainly not him. He belongs in the sewers with the other slimes," she told him. "Who knows what diseases I would catch from him?"

"I doubt even he knows what venereal ailments plague him." Xan shook his head slowly. "He might turn into a slime as it is, without ever seeing one."

Syldanae shuddered in revulsion; of all the monsters and creatures she had fought since her departure from Candlekeep, the slimes and jellies were the ones she hated the most. They were always inching towards her, trying to ooze inside her armor and over the tops of her boots, through any hole or seam they could find, seeking to touch her skin with a mindless tenacity and purpose that utterly terrified her. She used to have horrific nightmares about being touched by one and slowly collapsing into a crawling puddle of bright green goo, as Shar-Teel had so long ago.

Come to think of it, Salvanas would fit right in.

"Do you really prefer quieter encounters, Syldanae?" Xan's question startled her, and she looked at him with wide purple eyes. He twisted his fingers around his goblet, not looking at her. "Would you prefer if I...kept silent?"

She laughed softly and leaned closer to him. "Contrary to popular belief, I do enjoy listening to you speak. No matter where we are or what we're doing." She smiled and lightly pecked his cheek. "But you do have other uses for that tongue of yours than mere talking, you know."

Xan flushed, but he did smile. "Should I indulge you, and remind you of why you value it so?"

"Only if I may do the same," she replied mischeviously. She nodded to Salvanas, still visible above the mostly-seated crowd as he attempted to woo a ravishing blond woman. "And only if you can put all thoughts of that elf-shaped slime out of my head."

"I assure you, that will not be a problem." Xan helped her to her feet and, still holding her hand in his, guided her to the stairs. Syldanae looked up at him, violet eyes alight with love and challenge.

"I'll hold you to that, you know."

"Trust me, Estel'amin," he murmured, still smiling. "I will fulfill your expectations, and then some."

As they mounted the stairs, Salvanas' voice echoed above the din of the common room. "Ah, my little chestnut!"

"By Avoreen, not you!"

Syldanae shook her head. "Are you sure about that?"

Xan sighed and bent to kiss her cheek. "You will know very shortly how certain I am."


End file.
